Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Girdle Adventure

Typically, I hide behind clothes, hair or anything that can cover me.  I was even self concision of me.  I use to say I am confident, and to a point I was.  Just not confident in my skin.  Saturday was my dear sweet friends wedding.  In November I started my weight loss journey to tone up for the wedding. I NEVER excepted to tone my attitude and life.  Somewhere along this journey I realize there are others who struggle like me, have taken the same fad diet, use pills that you really didn't know what was in them.  I really want a time machine and tell myself what I know now.....  Anyways, we wore these super cute coral dress that was not really made for me.  For the last week I have stressed about a freakin girdle and what kind of fatty girl I would look like.  Friday night I went to WalMart and bought 3 girdles.....  YEP - You read that right - 3...  I had really planned on wearing all three on Saturday.  Saturday morning came and I decided to hit the gym really hard.  Went and got my hair done.  Then home to get dressed.  I knew it would take my husband and I both to put the girdles on.  We did and looked in the mirror, walked around the house.  I looked at Freddy aka hubby and said "what if I need to go pee", he looked at me and said "babe I will not go the bathroom with you".  So I finally said screw it.  I aint wearing these dang things. I did put on my favorite GRANNY panties...  Got to the church still thinkin, I am going to look like a fatty girl.  I put my dress and looked in the mirror and GUESS WHAT????????  

I liked me...  For the first time in a long time, I liked me.  I felt good.  I even felt pretty.  I was comfortable, I was ready to do this.  The rest of the night was so fun.  I didn't worry about if I was to big, if I needed to hide behind something...  So, Meet Brandi :) 

I text my trainer as soon as I left the wedding, mind you it after 10 pm...  I told her I was confident and felt good in my skin... She responded back with that I was gorgeous...  My smile never ended that night :)  

It is so weird how the littlest changes make the biggest changes in life.  I know now that is all up to me...  I will no longer hide behind something.  I will no longer buy a bigger size of clothes because I think if it is bigger it will hide me.  I don't want to hide me any longer....  

I wish I could tell everyone to never doubt your abilities BUT I still do sometimes...  I do however try to learn from the doubt....