.3 of Pound

I wish I could say life didn't happen to me over the summer BUT it did. I LOVED every minute of it.  My family went on our first cruise, it was a blast and the FOOD was AWESOME! I lived my life this summer and did not let the scale or life hold me hostage.

I have been thinking a lot lately about where I want my life to go and the directions I want it to start turning.  God has so many thing in store for us, I sometimes get overwhelmed with my blessings.  I want my life to be happy and carefree.  I want my life to be a positive role model for so many.

I often want to look at myself through others eyes. I want to see what they see.  If I have hurt someone I want to know why so I can correct it.

Life has so many factors :) What factors does my life say about me??

I did not own a scale till a few months ago.  I use to HATE, LOATHE, GET SICK when I thought about the scale.  Now, it is just a number, it is not a factor in determining ME! Anyways, I do weight myself and determine  the areas I need to work on! Today I got on the scale and noticed how close I was to breaking a goal number <-- the smile will not fade today! I am .3 of a pound of breaking the number.  At first my flesh said SIT ON THE TOILET, then I thought NO. Just as life has factors so does my weight.  I do not need to go beyond to lose the .3 of a pound.  I need to be CONSISTENT in what I know and what has worked for me. CONSISTENCY in my life change.  This factor made me happy and determined all in one second.  I will keep journaling my food, I will keep working out, I WILL CONTINUE TO STRIVE FOR THE RIGHT WAY NOT THE EASY WAY.

My life happened today and my life factors! I pray for discipline every day! I know that life happens and I know I will get down again about my weight but I also know I can make it through!

Girdle Adventure

Typically, I hide behind clothes, hair or anything that can cover me.  I was even self concision of me.  I use to say I am confident, and to a point I was.  Just not confident in my skin.  Saturday was my dear sweet friends wedding.  In November I started my weight loss journey to tone up for the wedding. I NEVER excepted to tone my attitude and life.  Somewhere along this journey I realize there are others who struggle like me, have taken the same fad diet, use pills that you really didn't know what was in them.  I really want a time machine and tell myself what I know now.....  Anyways, we wore these super cute coral dress that was not really made for me.  For the last week I have stressed about a freakin girdle and what kind of fatty girl I would look like.  Friday night I went to WalMart and bought 3 girdles.....  YEP - You read that right - 3...  I had really planned on wearing all three on Saturday.  Saturday morning came and I decided to hit the gym really hard.  Went and got my hair done.  Then home to get dressed.  I knew it would take my husband and I both to put the girdles on.  We did and looked in the mirror, walked around the house.  I looked at Freddy aka hubby and said "what if I need to go pee", he looked at me and said "babe I will not go the bathroom with you".  So I finally said screw it.  I aint wearing these dang things. I did put on my favorite GRANNY panties...  Got to the church still thinkin, I am going to look like a fatty girl.  I put my dress and looked in the mirror and GUESS WHAT????????  

I liked me...  For the first time in a long time, I liked me.  I felt good.  I even felt pretty.  I was comfortable, I was ready to do this.  The rest of the night was so fun.  I didn't worry about if I was to big, if I needed to hide behind something...  So, Meet Brandi :) 

I text my trainer as soon as I left the wedding, mind you it after 10 pm...  I told her I was confident and felt good in my skin... She responded back with that I was gorgeous...  My smile never ended that night :)  

It is so weird how the littlest changes make the biggest changes in life.  I know now that is all up to me...  I will no longer hide behind something.  I will no longer buy a bigger size of clothes because I think if it is bigger it will hide me.  I don't want to hide me any longer....  

I wish I could tell everyone to never doubt your abilities BUT I still do sometimes...  I do however try to learn from the doubt....  

Introduction

Hello my name is Brandi! I am a Okie through and through. I talk extremely funny, my accent is beyond south :) I am married to my best friend and worse enemy, not really but we do love to argue. I have the most handsome son ever.  He is my light, life and reason for breath some days.  I believe in God.  He is one true healer of all, the provider, he is good all the time.  

I am starting this blog for many reasons.  I sometimes have a lot to say and there is not enough room in "status" box on Facebook.  Another is that I decided to take a journey on changing my life.  I have decided to change my life in a healthy way, now lets get something straight I have not decided to give up chocolate, Nutella (DEVIL) and the list goes on.  I want to share this journey with anyone who has ever given up on themselves.  
  

I started this journey in December of 2014.  I took a leap of faith, got a trainer (I love you Cassie) and gym membership.  I started out weighting 259 pounds, probably the heaviest weight I had ever been but at the HAPPIEST point in life.  You ask yourself, how can that be? For me, it was life, my life happenings just had lead to a great place.  My husband was attending church for a year <-- totally another blog sometime.  My job was going great.  My son was great but he always is unless he decides to speak, kidding :) I have the bestest friends a girl could ask for.  LIFE HAPPEN to be perfect at that point.

After almost 4 months of a lot of SWEAT, pain, soreness and a lot of tears. I found myself even more - I am capable of things I didn't even know were possible.  I didn't know I could squat or even a sit up.  At first they were like 5 (laughing so loud now) now they are 20.  I still leave the gym and think who was that girl in there, till I get home and can't move. I wake the next day and go again and try harder.  I will NOT give up on me ever again.  

As of today 3/26/2015, I weight 242, lost 4 pants sizes, can wear an extra large shirt.  That has not happen since like the early 80's, not really but a long time.  Oh and yes I did just tell you my weight but it is a NUMBER not something the define me.  

The point of me saying all of this is don't ever give up on YOU.  I haven't given up on me in 4 months.  I have had down days, I am sure I will have more.  Life is not full of rainbows!

However, I do think it may not be all happy, all the time but tomorrow is a new day. I have based my journey from that.  If I fail today, I have to push harder tomorrow.   

My goal is to lose 43 more pounds, if you don't like math that is to get below the 200 mark.  I don't have a set amount of time HOWEVER my 40th birthday is in one year so it would be nice to have it done by then.  I will continue to work out everyday till I hit that goal and then after that.  The gym has become part of my life not food anymore.  Food does not equal happiness.  

I really hope yall will enjoy my blog as much as I think I will enjoy writing it.  

God bless and lots of love

PS - I am the master of messing up grammar, leaving out words and using the wrong one in the wrong place.  My friends call that Brandinese! Welcome to my language lol