Typically, I hide behind clothes, hair or anything that can cover me. I was even self concision of me. I use to say I am confident, and to a point I was. Just not confident in my skin. Saturday was my dear sweet friends wedding. In November I started my weight loss journey to tone up for the wedding. I NEVER excepted to tone my attitude and life. Somewhere along this journey I realize there are others who struggle like me, have taken the same fad diet, use pills that you really didn't know what was in them. I really want a time machine and tell myself what I know now..... Anyways, we wore these super cute coral dress that was not really made for me. For the last week I have stressed about a freakin girdle and what kind of fatty girl I would look like. Friday night I went to WalMart and bought 3 girdles..... YEP - You read that right - 3... I had really planned on wearing all three on Saturday. Saturday morning came and I decided to hit the gym really hard. Went and got my hair done. Then home to get dressed. I knew it would take my husband and I both to put the girdles on. We did and looked in the mirror, walked around the house. I looked at Freddy aka hubby and said "what if I need to go pee", he looked at me and said "babe I will not go the bathroom with you". So I finally said screw it. I aint wearing these dang things. I did put on my favorite GRANNY panties... Got to the church still thinkin, I am going to look like a fatty girl. I put my dress and looked in the mirror and GUESS WHAT????????
I liked me... For the first time in a long time, I liked me. I felt good. I even felt pretty. I was comfortable, I was ready to do this. The rest of the night was so fun. I didn't worry about if I was to big, if I needed to hide behind something... So, Meet Brandi :)
I text my trainer as soon as I left the wedding, mind you it after 10 pm... I told her I was confident and felt good in my skin... She responded back with that I was gorgeous... My smile never ended that night :)
It is so weird how the littlest changes make the biggest changes in life. I know now that is all up to me... I will no longer hide behind something. I will no longer buy a bigger size of clothes because I think if it is bigger it will hide me. I don't want to hide me any longer....
I wish I could tell everyone to never doubt your abilities BUT I still do sometimes... I do however try to learn from the doubt....
