Typically, I hide behind clothes, hair or anything that can cover me. I was even self concision of me. I use to say I am confident, and to a point I was. Just not confident in my skin. Saturday was my dear sweet friends wedding. In November I started my weight loss journey to tone up for the wedding. I NEVER excepted to tone my attitude and life. Somewhere along this journey I realize there are others who struggle like me, have taken the same fad diet, use pills that you really didn't know what was in them. I really want a time machine and tell myself what I know now..... Anyways, we wore these super cute coral dress that was not really made for me. For the last week I have stressed about a freakin girdle and what kind of fatty girl I would look like. Friday night I went to WalMart and bought 3 girdles..... YEP - You read that right - 3... I had really planned on wearing all three on Saturday. Saturday morning came and I decided to hit the gym really hard. Went and got my hair done. Then home to get dressed. I knew it would take my husband and I both to put the girdles on. We did and looked in the mirror, walked around the house. I looked at Freddy aka hubby and said "what if I need to go pee", he looked at me and said "babe I will not go the bathroom with you". So I finally said screw it. I aint wearing these dang things. I did put on my favorite GRANNY panties... Got to the church still thinkin, I am going to look like a fatty girl. I put my dress and looked in the mirror and GUESS WHAT????????
I liked me... For the first time in a long time, I liked me. I felt good. I even felt pretty. I was comfortable, I was ready to do this. The rest of the night was so fun. I didn't worry about if I was to big, if I needed to hide behind something... So, Meet Brandi :)
I text my trainer as soon as I left the wedding, mind you it after 10 pm... I told her I was confident and felt good in my skin... She responded back with that I was gorgeous... My smile never ended that night :)
It is so weird how the littlest changes make the biggest changes in life. I know now that is all up to me... I will no longer hide behind something. I will no longer buy a bigger size of clothes because I think if it is bigger it will hide me. I don't want to hide me any longer....
I wish I could tell everyone to never doubt your abilities BUT I still do sometimes... I do however try to learn from the doubt....
Hello my name is Brandi! I am a Okie through and through. I talk extremely funny, my accent is beyond south :) I am married to my best friend and worse enemy, not really but we do love to argue. I have the most handsome son ever. He is my light, life and reason for breath some days. I believe in God. He is one true healer of all, the provider, he is good all the time.
I am starting this blog for many reasons. I sometimes have a lot to say and there is not enough room in "status" box on Facebook. Another is that I decided to take a journey on changing my life. I have decided to change my life in a healthy way, now lets get something straight I have not decided to give up chocolate, Nutella (DEVIL) and the list goes on. I want to share this journey with anyone who has ever given up on themselves.
I started this journey in December of 2014. I took a leap of faith, got a trainer (I love you Cassie) and gym membership. I started out weighting 259 pounds, probably the heaviest weight I had ever been but at the HAPPIEST point in life. You ask yourself, how can that be? For me, it was life, my life happenings just had lead to a great place. My husband was attending church for a year <-- totally another blog sometime. My job was going great. My son was great but he always is unless he decides to speak, kidding :) I have the bestest friends a girl could ask for. LIFE HAPPEN to be perfect at that point.
After almost 4 months of a lot of SWEAT, pain, soreness and a lot of tears. I found myself even more - I am capable of things I didn't even know were possible. I didn't know I could squat or even a sit up. At first they were like 5 (laughing so loud now) now they are 20. I still leave the gym and think who was that girl in there, till I get home and can't move. I wake the next day and go again and try harder. I will NOT give up on me ever again.
As of today 3/26/2015, I weight 242, lost 4 pants sizes, can wear an extra large shirt. That has not happen since like the early 80's, not really but a long time. Oh and yes I did just tell you my weight but it is a NUMBER not something the define me.
The point of me saying all of this is don't ever give up on YOU. I haven't given up on me in 4 months. I have had down days, I am sure I will have more. Life is not full of rainbows!
However, I do think it may not be all happy, all the time but tomorrow is a new day. I have based my journey from that. If I fail today, I have to push harder tomorrow.
My goal is to lose 43 more pounds, if you don't like math that is to get below the 200 mark. I don't have a set amount of time HOWEVER my 40th birthday is in one year so it would be nice to have it done by then. I will continue to work out everyday till I hit that goal and then after that. The gym has become part of my life not food anymore. Food does not equal happiness.
I really hope yall will enjoy my blog as much as I think I will enjoy writing it.
God bless and lots of love
PS - I am the master of messing up grammar, leaving out words and using the wrong one in the wrong place. My friends call that Brandinese! Welcome to my language lol
